Time Together

Pouring the coffee, I wait for the continuance of your story.
I study your face.
Your soft eyebrow line.
Your eyes look shadowed today. I bet he’s tired, I tell myself.
A joke in your story breaks my gaze and we laugh.
There’s so much hope, a surprised peace.
This is…easy.

 

It’s been a time now since we’ve last spoken.
Important days have gone by.
I’ve thought of you when days were hard.
I stare at my reflection and wonder if you’ve thought of how I may have changed.

Pouring the coffee, I wait for the continuance of your story.
I study your face.
Your eyebrow line is soft against your hard face.
Your eyes are closed off from letting others in – Shadowed…yes, they were.
I hear the joke again, this time I am aware the story is not real.
Your stories aim to make this seem hopeful, a fleeting peace for this time together.
It’s much easier this way.

I’ve gone away with you and the relationship we could have had.
So many times you’ve hurt me
because I’ve dreamt the relationship we both wanted,
but are not in.
I am so sorry.
Your walls are so high, your caves so deep.
I see you.
I hope to find you someday, to hear something real.

Until then, I’ll dream you up.
I’m sure of it.
I’ll wonder how you have changed and piece your own changed face together.
I’ll pour the coffee and hear your stories.
I know what’s to come.
But, my pain is my own. Unnatural as it is to not have you with me. I am so sorry.

Time_Together

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